One Of The Fallen
by cartoonnetworknerdchick
Summary: Fantasy Helsa AU, Elsa POV: "I am Hans." "I don't care." But his smirk in the dim lighting of the bar would echo in my simple conscious all night long. And I can smell him on my sheets when he gathers his clothes the next day, and he sits on the edge of the bed pulling the denim onto his powerful hips.


It's that dream like state in which you cannot breathe-cannot feel you are prisoner to your body.

Its frigid, the breeze blows your hair into your lashes and you feel the sob rising in your throat-and no matter how I describe it or try to put it into symbols of language. No one will ever feel quite the way I do.

And as my eyes glanced up for a millisecond away from my parent's grave stone-I saw a man with eyes of emerald sin and desperation.

"I'm Hans."

"I don't care."

But his smirk in the dim lighting of the bar would echo in my simple conscious all night long.

And I can smell him on my sheets when he gathers his clothes the next day, and he sits on the edge of the bed pulling the denim onto his powerful hips. His eyes skim over me drinking in my nude body, which is entangled in the cotton and he gives me a satisfied grin-which makes me shake.

And the burning of his vision on my skin makes me curl and turn away, to hide and reject the intimacy we have shared the night prior.

But he won't let me, and upon seeing me crumble his large hand wipes the blonde wisps from my cheeks.

"You cannot rid of someone who was never there Elsa."

And like that he was nothing more, a mere shadow in my heart. Come and gone in seconds. Like an angel which touched your body with hands that had seen more darkness than light.

I stare out the window waiting-waiting for him to return, from where ever he has gone.

Sometimes I can stick my limbs right through him, and when he opens his mouth it is an abyss of star light…And other times he is so real I can taste his sweat still in my pores. The sun is absent as if scared away by me, as my sister demands for a smidgen of my attention.

I cannot give her the full attention she pleads for though, because there are dark circles under my eyes from the many sleepless nights I share with the auburn haired echo that fills my blood with the lack of his constant existence.

Anna can't handle my silence-and shoves the blank sound with her lovely bell like voice, before bidding me goodbye and leaving me in the library alone.

But I am never alone, not with Hans.

In a unimportant poof like whisper, and a bundle of black feathers my soulless lover sits across from me with his winning and staining smile.

And we waste not a moment, for we both are vulnerable to the hands of the forces of the universe plucking him away once more. Hans hand encircles my neck and connects our lips with a pressure that continues to make me shiver through the night.

The black feathers that come with his presence are forgotten and rendered useless on the worn down carpet.

Soon we have memorized each other's bodies.

And although my body changes in shape from time to time and my shoulders slump and my stomach grows and shrinks-he will always stay the same. His muscles and planes never changing-almost in a mocking way compared to my own curves, which grow plump and thin depending on each tick in father time's clock.

The more he appears, the more words are exchanged between us.

The more attachment develops in my heart toward his freckles which burn in my memory, the sweeter his sentences become. And we share a different type of intimacy, not the one where he dominates with each thrust and my back arches to its ultimate limit.

The intimacy in which he strokes my tears off my raw cheeks and holds me to his body, protecting me from the dangers which I cannot see but are in biting and snapping at him constantly.

Hans's lips upon my cheek are what I can feel as I close my eyes as I sit in the plush chair alone, clutching his leather jacket to my chest.

And I remiss on the mere seconds before he was nothing more but air and dust once more, how his warmth engulfed me, his smell of smoke and soot overflowing my senses, and in my ears are the remains of his promise.

"I am always with you, and you are always with me…my_ shadow_."

"Hans."

"Elsa?"

My voice shakes as I clean the blood from his shoulder blades and kiss the blackened grime off his peach skin, and eyes of green seem to overrule my tongue and silences me.

And through the blood that had dried up around his nose and lips he still finds the strength to smile for me, and that small sided smirk that had been haunting me from day one was causing tears in my eyes.

"H-Hans what are you…"

"I am one of the fallen."

And as his baritone voice rumbled my lithe form, the black feathers finally took their true home.

And out of my lover unfurled wings of the night sky, dark shining with bloodied justice and feathers dulled by the duties and responsibilities the world which I knew nothing of laid upon his shoulders.

And I did not understand what he identified himself really meant.

But I understood that the feathers he left behind were mine, and it was his memories that fell from the wings that extended from the shoulder blades which moments before had not extended arm's length out, and he took my hand with in his own.

And placed my shaking, terrified hand on his hot empty chest, and nodded to me.

I could hear his one wish in the deepest corner of my mind as our eyes did not shift from the other's orbs.

"You are _my_ shadow."

"And I am _your _fallen angel."


End file.
